The thighs have it
ANSWER me this – what is the very best thing you can see while tucking into an Easter egg?
The VERY best?
Take a moment to think, if you want.
Perhaps you weren't aware there was a best thing to see, or even a very good thing, with a mouth full of Cadbury's finest.
Maybe your eyes are closed in order to fully enjoy the flavour without distraction.
Certainly there are lots of bad things to see – one of those big white grubs they have to eat on I'm a Celebrity; a dead, and partially mutilated, squirrel in a gutter; Victoria Beckham in a bikini.
All pretty unappetising things to loom into view over the rounded peak of a creme egg.
But the best thing to see?
The thing that not only complements the confectionary, but leaves a good taste in one's mouth long after the chocolate has gone?
It's the thing I saw this Sunday, during the primary stages of my traditional sugar migraine (choccie course two, squeezed in after coffee but before breakfast).
It was the front cover of the Sunday Times Style magazine, in rare act of radicalism, emblazoned with the legend "Curves Glorious Curves".
And next to it, lest you assume they're referring to an ergonomic coffee table, a photo of some thighs.
Proper thighs.
Thighs with purpose, thighs with presence.
Thighs between which no counties can be seen, thighs that the whole of Keira Knightley could get lost behind.
Thighs attached to some substantial hips, attached to a gorgeous woman, making the strongest statement I've seen in fashion since Kelly Brook put her clothes back on.
Of course, I had to check I wasn't seeing things, that I hadn't already reached the stage of cocoa-giddiness where two normal models merge into one full-size woman before my eyes, and I start seeing Oompa Loompas hiding behind the shrubbery.
But no, there she was.
Inside, perhaps the most optimistic statement one could wish to encounter in a fashion mag: "At long last," Shane Watson decrees, "we are officially over skinny."
"But we've heard it a million times!" the cynical and svelte among you are crying.
We heard it with J-Lo, with Scarlett, and every time Beyonce puts on a bikini.
We still don't feel any more amorous towards cellulite.
But this time, oh fashionistas of little faith, I genuinely believe they might be onto something.
Look at Beth Ditto, naked on the cover of Love magazine last month.
Really look at it, don't say "euch" and scuttle off to the nearest superfoods smoothie.
Perhaps it'll be a while before most people can accept those folds of flesh, that pillowy physique, as a beauty image – but even seeing it on the cover of a style bible feels like one giant leap for womankind.
And it really is about the women, of course.
Not since the last days of the bullet bra have women dressed to please men.
Rightly so, and yet in many ways also the downfall of the feminist progress – men being infinitely more accepting of every possible imperfection than their unforgiving female counterparts.
For decades, men have been bleating the ol' adages about preferring a bit of meat on bones, but mainly in the corner of pubs while we're too busy calculating the calorie content of three dry roast cashews to listen.
The truly shocking thing, of course, is that we let it get this far.
That picking up a magazine with a size 12 to 14 model on the front should be so radical that I choke on a Lindt bunny.
While we may be a long way off my editorial dream, of girls with curves all over the fashion pages without anybody batting an eyelid, it looks like we're certainly a few cup sizes closer to acceptance.
And while we continue the wait, I might just finish this creme egg. Beyonce wants me to.
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Monday 28 May 2012
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