I'd like you to picture me sitting pensively on a stool in a set-up akin to Springer's Final Thought (though regular readers will know better than to hope any of my many, many thoughts are ever final), as I declare in a soothing voice like the Northern Line tube announcer, "It is good to challenge oneself in life.

"From time to time we should all push ourselves though gruelling trials and do things we really don't want to do, because it will help us gain inner strength, a deeper sense of self-worth and several smug-points for the next time we find ourselves in an unforeseen moan-off.

"The buffalo who lies around the Serengeti eating Nutella straight from the jar may be happy for a short while, but the buffalo who forces himself to cross the mountains, even though his bunions hurt, will find on the other side the Lake of Nutella, and endless happiness."

Personal victories

I'm sure the Dalai Llama has said something to that effect, but I don't know because I've never challenged myself to read any of his books.

Now, these can be big, impressive challenges, like giving up your career as a hand model to go and build hospitals in Gambia.

But more often they are the little, personal victories that may never find their way onto your CV but are no less significant in their character-building way.

Like making yourself watch Newsnight all the way through without flicking.

Or letting your foot go completely dead then poking things in it.

Or holding on until the end of a film instead of pausing it to have a wee 10 minutes in, just to see if you physically can.

Personal comfort

Sometimes — get this — sometimes I walk up escalators. Just for the heck of it.

And we all know that sacrificing your own personal comfort is essential for being a tortured artist.

Think of all the great books, music and art that has been borne out of misery (I conclude that John Lennon must have had a distressing case of bedsores).

Clearly, hardship helps you tap into the flowing channels of your own creativity, achieving a clarity that is obscured if all your days are just spent frolicking in summer meadows and making little figures out of wax Babybell casing.

Artistic endeavour

So when an opportunity for gruelling self-development is going to pay you in cold, crispy money as well as the gift of artistic endeavour, you should probably be all over it like calamine lotion.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself every day before work.

It's what I tell myself as I get up at 6.30am, before a rousing chorus of Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 and a ProPlus smoothie.

Then I launch into my motivational speech. Ahem.

Go forth, Lauren!

Be the best restaurant receptionist you can be!

Leftover brownie

Put your name in the history books, or failing that, at least try to put the right names in the reservations book.

Earn not just your rent for the summer, but also some self-respect and free leftover brownie.

Grimace bravely as you are asked for the 13th time how the "braised lamb" is cooked, or whether the Fegato alla Veneziana comes with ketchup.

Smile graciously when you are clicked at, patronised and tipped 23p, for you are a being of higher concerns, and they, wearing white loafers and a jumper tied round their shoulders, are more deserving of your pity.

And, above all, embrace your uniform of black shirt, black skirt, black tights, black expression and flat black shoes.

Floral jumpsuit

Because, while to those around you may look like a bland imitation of a person, like furniture but with shapelier legs, you know that inside, your soul is wearing a rainbow floral jumpsuit.

Go forth, Lauren, and be the better buffalo!

Yes, there are many consolations for working 49 hours a week all summer.

Aside from the inner strength and creative clarity, it means I can let myself stand still on escalators for a while.

And flick over as soon as Newsnight comes on.

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