THAT day's newspaper and the venue doormen are vital tools of the trade for Roy "Chubby" Brown.
The self-proclaimed "crudest and rudest" comedian has been touring the circuit for 40 years and produced 12 cassettes, 17 DVDs and two LPs in that time.
"That's a lot of original material," he said. "When I'm preparing for a show, I sit there for a couple of hours in the afternoon with the papers. Last week they were talking about the tennis.
"Today is Beatles Day. A lot of people at the show tonight will have arrived straight from work and won't know that. I will be telling them, as it is Beatles Day I have pulled the cooker away from the wall to let them have a walk round the kitchen.
"When I get to a venue, the best people to ask are the lads on the door. I ask them what's the roughest pub round here, who's the roughest bird, where do you go for a drink, are there speed cameras, drugs, asylum seekers....
"I don't know what's going to be a show until I get to the microphone, although I have standard gags for some subjects."
Known for his colourful language, Chubby pulls in a big audience wherever he goes.
"You either like Chubby Brown or you don't," he said. "I don't force my material down anyone's throat. They have to be fans. People know exactly what they're going to get – bad language, material on sex and politics. That's what they come along for."
Only taking three weeks off from work a year, Roy had been recording a new song for his DVD out in November when I spoke to him.
After three nights of shows and singing all day, the effort had taken its toll on his one vocal chord and he was losing his voice. He lost the other vocal chord to cancer a few years ago but doesn't let that stop him.
"I was working on an idea about political correctness," he said. "I went to see Chris Rock and every other word is something a white person would not be allowed to say. It's ridiculous."
Born in Grangetown, Middlesbrough, Roy had a range of jobs before concentrating on one of the loves of his life – music.
He started playing drums in a band in the 1960s, playing the men's working club circuit. "We found out we could earn an extra fiver if we did comedy," he said. "The band wouldn't do it but I did."
Sketches were included in the act and then, when the rest of the band went on a jazz funk path, Roy became part of a comedy duo with an impressionist.
When the impressionist left for Canada, Roy was left with a "semi-suggestive" 20-minute act. In the 1970s he came fourth to a spoon player on Opportunity Knocks.
"I started to go rude when I realised there was more money in it. People were offering me small fortunes to stand in front of 1,600 blokes swearing. You can't turn it down when you have a wife and kids and 15 asylum seekers to keep."
Joking aside, at first he had difficulty with the swearing but he is really poking fun at himself and male inadequacy. A third of his audience are women and he hates swearing in front of women and children off stage.
"As soon as I put on the hat and goggles my whole persona changes. I always feel that I can get away with anything," he said.
As well as his new song, Chubby recorded a version of Living Next Door to Alice with Smokie and A Rocking Good Christmas, written by Ray Hedges.
Roy "Chubby" Brown's adult only show is at Worthing's Pavilion Theatre on July 15 at 7.45pm. Tickets are £19 from the box office on 01903 206206 or
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