YOU can send in a poem on any topic to email@example.com and you could be in with the chance of winning a cheque for £10. This weeks’ winner is Caroline Hansen, with her poem, Fit for Purpose.
I once knew a fat man, outside,
a thin man who cried to get out.
He became very stressed,
and deeply depressed
because he’d become really stout.
He gave up puddings and pastries.
He gave up chocolates and wine.
He watched what he ate,
and tried to lose weight
to gain a sleek, sexy outline.
He took up running and swimming
and went every day to the gym.
He hoped to get lean
on the rowing machine,
determined that he would be slim
Changing from bread to Ryvita
he steered clear of biscuits and beer,
when hunger attacked
instead of a snack
he’d jog up and down Worthing pier.
One day he encountered his true love
and all augured well, until when
she said “I love you
but if I’m to be true,
I must tell you I hate skinny men.”
He gave up running and swimming,
took his love wining, dining instead.
No longer depressed
he’s not at all stressed
and does his gymnastics in bed.