DEATH and taxes are the only two certainties in life, observed Benjamin Franklin, and cash-strapped governments have always had their eye on Fagin's maxim, You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two.
The trouble is, we're all getting our pockets rifled far too easily these days — and it's not just governments to blame.
Our law-makers are, of course, the main beneficiaries of grabbing our hard-earned income, and it's astounding how little some things change over the centuries.
Let's go back to 1696 when William III's government needed money to help pay for foreign conflicts (sounds familiar?).
The ingenious legislators of that time came up with the fiendishly-original notion of daylight robbery — a window tax on homes with more than six (later eight) of the said apertures.
It wasn't until 1851 that this measure was finally repealed, but not before countless thousands of windows had been bricked up to cut the tax payable.
Fast forward to 2008, and they're at it again! But this time, the tax raisers aren't so silly as to reintroduce the idea in its original form.
Oh, no!
This time, it's the VIEW they're thinking of taxing.
It's claimed that 80,000 homes have been recorded on a "Big Brother" database for having a scenic outlook which enhances their value.
Watch out, you vista-enjoying residents of residents of High Salvington and the seafront — the TV term "Pay to View" could take on a menacing new meaning for you all.
And are you one of the eight million homes to have been "logged" for having one or more off-street parking places... or nice garden... a conservatory... or good access to local transport or local shops; all grist for the mill in a future property revaluation Bill?
It adds up to yet more stealth taxes.
The Department for Communities and Local Government denies there is to be a revaluation by stealth.
In that case, why bother to compile this information in such exacting detail? Surely, it's not just to provide something for people to do, as in the case of the discredited property Home Information Packs (HIPS)?
Residents in other local authority areas are already suffering dire penalties for putting too much (or the wrong sort of) rubbish in their designated refuse collection bins.
Thank goodness that Adur and Worthing Council Services decided at the outset not to install electronic chips in our new wheelie bins, which would have paved the way for easier control of any misdemeanours.
I know we should try to avoid breaking rules and regulations, whether in the public or private sector, but the scale of some of the penalties imposed is disgraceful, and nowhere near the actual cost of trouble incurred.
The big banks have had to rein back on their penalty charges, and next in line should be the horrendous amounts demanded by car-clamping sharks.
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