New book explores what drives people to control others

Jo, aged 57, said: “I work as an independent clinical psychologist. I see individual clients and train groups of police officers to protect their minds from emotional harm. When I left the NHS in 2008 it gave me more time but self-employment was lonely. So, each day, I interspersed client appointments with visits to the Vintage Rose café in Storrington across the road from my office. One day, I noticed an unremarkable middle-aged man staring out of the window. Permanently fascinated by flawed humans, I wondered what his story might be. On my iPad I wrote: ‘At this point in time, I can accurately be described as unemployed, impotent and a liar.’ This became the first sentence of my debut novel Surviving Me. Writing became my unexpected addiction. Surviving Her is my second novel. I’m working on a third called Surviving Him and a non-fiction project called Surviving The Real Me.

“In Surviving Her, an interview with an eight-year-old girl leads to a novel about emotional coercion. I wanted a child narrator for my second novel. I was anxious to get the correct tone and vocabulary in order for the voice to sound authentic so I interviewed two children. The novel became Surviving Her, a domestic suspense informed by my work as a clinical psychologist. The novel combines engaging, complex characters with a fast-moving plot that explores the question: what does it take for a man to become emotionally coercive? Emotionally coercive behaviour is the stuff of movies: the emotionally controlling character is always the evil psychopath. But rarely do people look closer and ask: what drives people to control others?

“The central psychological premise of Surviving Her is what psychologists call emotional control – the things people do to get rid of emotional pain and how it can lead them into deep water.

"Surviving Her combines two life stories, both set in the context of material privilege. Contrary to popular belief, bad things often happen behind fancy doors, even in West Sussex. Keziah is a 29-year-old teacher who lost her sister in a tragic accident. Predictably she feels sad but the feelings that trouble her are anger, guilt and fear. Those feelings seem less acceptable to her, shameful even. To control the negative feelings she can’t disclose, she resigns her place in the mountain bike squad, pursues a safe career and marries an unsuitable older man, in haste. Claus, her new husband, seems perfect. After all, he’s a good-looking psychologist with an expansive property and an open-top car. He’s kind and generous and the first to understand her guilt and shame. However, he over manages her life. It starts with the small things like her clothes and car but his controlling urges grow until they are oppressive and finally criminal.”