Make It Stop!

"MUMMY! It's 20 o'clock! We've got to go NOW!"

"Er" I whimpered, disorientated. I cranked an eye open. Chickie was so close, it was like viewing him through a magnifying glass. I jolted back into the pillow.

"Mummy's dreaming '“ go and play in your room for a little bit" I mumbled, anxious to return to George Clooney's lips.

"You smell yucky mummy. Can you play with me?"

"Sweetheart, it's too early for mummy, just go and play in your room for a few hours"

Chickie began singing. "Silent night, ho-ey night, round yon mergin mother and child, sleeping, sleepy, sleep, never sleep"

Unable to open both eyes at the same time, I viewed Chickie through a small crack in my right eye. He looked so awake. My eyeball crept over to the clock. 5:59am. God, it was still night.

I groaned and slid under the duvet. Chickie climbed on top and began bouncing up and down. I turned over and toppled him onto his father, before quickly rolling away.

It seemed God had giveth and God had taken away. Finally, after a year of night waking, Chickie was sleeping through. And our punishment was that he now woke up at 5.59am every morning.

Later that day, I patted myself on the back for showing such enterprise. 'That should do it' I thought as I practiced locking the new gate on Chickie's bedroom door.

All his toys were in there so I could see no reason why he shouldn't happily while away those pesky twilight hours playing with Buzz Lightyear instead of mummy.

05:59am the next morning. "MMMUUUUUMMMMMMYYYY! LET ME OUUUUTTTTTTT NOW!!!"

I grunted in shock. "What? Erm?" I floundered in confusion, lost between sleeping and waking.

"OUT NOW!" Chickie reiterated loudly.

"Just play.. wiv.toys...." I mouthed into the darkness.

"IT'S NOT FAIR"

I opted to ignore him, confident the futility of his efforts would soon find him lost in a world of imaginative play.

A strange scratching started. Then a pinging noise.

"Stop it" I shouted. It got louder.

I scrambled out of bed just as a car flew over his gate and down the stairs.

"Sorry mummy" he said, grinning at me from behind the bars. "Can I come in your room now?" he smiled smugly.

As he burrowed down the middle of the bed, he placed two ice cold feet on my bum, I yelped. Then followed a sharp blow to the back. "NEE NAW NEE NAW". Chickie off roaded his ambulance down my spine.

"Give daddy cuddles" I suggested, trying to roll Chickie over to face Accountant.

Accountant rolled him back, Chick's nose now pressed up to mine.

"It's 20 o'clock, Mummy. Are you getting up?"

"Yes" I groaned, accepting yon merging of mother and child. Sleepy, sleep, never sleep.

-------------------------------------

For more A Boy Called Chickie, click here

For previous tales of Chickie, click here

Click here to go back to Worthing news.

Where are you? Add your pin to the Herald's international readers' map by clicking here.

Email the Herald: [email protected]