"Bare faced-cheek": spoof application for nudist beach in Bognor Regis causes a chuckle

The application notice, which was tied to lamp-posts throughout the town centre and seafront areas last week, supposedly confirms Arun District Council’s receipt of a change of use application to turn the beach into a naturist site.

The jokester responsible kept things cheeky, with a range of puns and saucy innuendos scattered throughout the text. The full notice reads: “Application AW/119/18GSH for change of use at West Pier end to West Beach at Aldwick Boat Pound to be recognised and licensed as naturist/naked bathing only. Any comments you wish to make must be received by 30 June 2023. I cannot guarantee that the upstanding members will take your comments into consideration as they are looking to create a better view than what Southern Water have left us with.”

“Please comment, if you wish to keep abreast, in writing, to Department Control and nudity Regulation, Arun District Council (...) in an envelope marked ‘Ooooohhh Er Missus’.”

Speaking to another newspaper, Arun District Council has since confirmed the application is a spoof. “We spotted the fake planning notice on social media and had a wry smile about it,” a spokesperson said.

"We hope that once the public have read it and the cleverly crafted puns within, they will realise that this is not a real planning application and hasn’t come from the council, and is simply a case of bare-faced cheek.”

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