Growing old is not much fun

Growing old isn’t much fun is it? A friend said to me once, ‘never get old’, okay but what’s the alternative?

The following is just a few of those vicissitudes we all have to bear with increasing age in the passing of time.

Old age is a time when running for a bus is no longer an option. It’s a time when names allude you. It’s a time of hearing aids and visual aids and surgical appliances and support stockings. It’s a time when you lose your glasses look for them everywhere then find them sitting on top of your head.

It’s a time when hair stops growing on your head and starts growing everywhere else. When climbing the stairs becomes as formidable and as daunting as the north face of the Eiger is to a mountaineer... and then to cap it all when finally you complete your ascent you can’t remember what you went up for in the first place. Old age is a time when a wise move is relocating next to your doctor or the hospital or perhaps even next door to the crematorium to save on funeral expenses

It’s a time when getting your teeth into something is chiefly a glass of water overnight.

I asked a friend the other day if he was still rocking and rolling. ‘Yes’, he said, ‘but these days only when I walk’.

They say as we age we shrink, so instead of growing up we start growing down.

As we get older too our nightly visits to the toilet become more frequent. Ill always remember the first time I joined the night patrol’ as I got out of bed my wife said, ‘what’s wrong?’ I said, ‘I forgot to put the cat out’. The following morning she said to me I didn’t know we had seven cats’

David Webb

Western Road


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